originally published 2009
Today’s technology is often a significant challenge for many law enforcement officers. While younger officers are more adept and open to the new technologies which more experienced officers find complex and frustrating; computers, personal wireless devices and cell phones are becoming such a part of our world that many of us feel that we are being left behind. We find ourselves asking our children to access certain software on the computer or how to use a certain application on our new cell phone that the sales rep insisted “is the simplest phone ever made”. This technology provides us with a great deal of information quickly and remotely, as it keeps us in touch with our families, friends and jobs.
As a negotiator this new technology is being used to assist in accessing information about those with whom we are negotiating as well as providing digital recordings of the conversations between the person in crisis and the negotiator. Some of this technology provides real time transcription of those communications so that it can immediately be reviewed by other officers, subject matter experts and consulting mental health professionals without influence of the passion, emotion and rhetoric that accompanies the negotiation process. Many teams now include a designated technological or equipment technician who is given the specific task to set up, manage and maintain much of this equipment.
The reality is that most negotiations take place in the field where officers have called the negotiator in an attempt to interact with a person in crisis. These attempted contacts are generally accomplished by yelling through the front door or, in many cases, via the negotiators mobile phone. Both of these scenarios seriously restrict officers from using much of these technological advancements previously mentioned. The NOC, or Negotiation Operation Center, turns out to be the trunk of a patrol car, a neighbor’s garage, or even the hallway of residence where the person in crisis has barricaded inside the family room or bedroom.
One group that has easily embraced all of the latest technology is our children. They know how to hack into a secure computer network, build their own computer network, and play interactive video games live with people all over the world. Most have an MP-3 player with the earphones in their ears all of the time and their mobile phones are never far from their reach. They have the skill and ability to carry on a conversation with you at the dining room table all the while, they are texting their friends from the mobile phone they are holding underneath the table. Many kids will send and receive more than one thousand text messages a month. Others may send and receive that number in only a week or two. Their phones become lifelines to their friends and in many cases, to their sense of self. This fragile sense of self generally develops in many pubescent and teenage children and can lead to tragedy and grief for friends and family.
Imagine this scenario. You are called to a residence to negotiate with a thirteen year old girl after patrol officers responded to a disturbance related call for service. Upon your arrival you learn that the girl got into an argument with her parents over a boy, her declining school work, and her constant use of the mobile phone which she uses to text and talk to her friends as well as the boy in question. You also learn that she has locked herself inside her bedroom threatening to kill herself if her parents do not leave her alone about these issues. Her father tells you that his .38 caliber pistol which he only keeps for protection, has been removed from the box in which he keeps it in his bedroom closet. Due to the narrow confines of the hallway leading to her room along with the knowledge that she potentially has her Dad’s pistol in the room with her, you elect to communicate with her by yelling down the hallway. After little or no response, you elect to call her on the device that she uses to communicate with the outside world, her mobile phone. But again, after multiple attempts, she fails to answer your call. Suddenly, you receive a text message from her inquiring “who r u & wtf u want”. Surprised you scramble to remember how to use the keypad of your mobile phone to reply; “answer phone talk 2 me”. Her reply from her is almost instantaneous; “I am”.
The possibility of having to negotiate via text messaging is real and looming in the near future for officers everywhere. What are you going to do when that eventuality occurs? Are you prepared to confront the technological issues that our teenage children embrace? More importantly, are you able to communicate with them in a language familiar to them and they can understand?
Technology
You may face a number of technological issues such as your familiarity with your particular phone keypad as well as your ability to reply without fumbling to send or reply to messages. Standard twelve key phones use an average of three letters per key and must be depressed a specific number of times to record the specific letter or symbol. Many new phones are designed specifically to ease texting issues by providing a partial or full QRTY keyboards. Those with partial QRTY boards generally have twenty keys and an average of two letters per key. These phones usually contain a form of smart technology that will auto complete words based on the key combination used in order to generate the words. Those with full QRTY boards provide a full keyboard similar to the ones found on a computer keyboard and usually possess the same auto complete smart technology as the smaller version of phones. Depending on the phone and your familiarity with it, speed of texting and replying are affected dramatically.
Language
After dealing with the technological issues associated with this process, if we cannot understand or reply in a language that they recognize and understand, we will never gain their trust in order to build the rapport necessary to effectively resolve the crisis. During a recent interview at the Olympic Games with Michael Phelp’s mother, she revealed that she would text him during his training sessions because he was often busy and did not have time to talk on the phone. She said that she always ended her text messages with “LOL”, short for “lots of love”. While her son understood what she meant, the common understanding of those three letters means “Laughing out loud”. Many people who share personal relationships with family members and close friends, along with people who are dating, develop terms that only they may understand. While it is difficult enough to communicate with a teenager, developing trust and rapport is akin with trying to communicate with someone who does not speak the same language.
Negotiation Techniques / Active Listening Skills
The foundation of every negotiation is the use of Active Listening Skills. Most of these skills may become moot during this negotiation whereby other techniques would need to be employed.
Emotional Labeling
(Respond to the emotions that you hear rather than the words themselves.)
Assessing received text messages becomes extremely difficult when we begin applying the first component; Emotional Labeling. It has been estimated that there are over six hundred words in the English language used to describe various emotions. Unfortunately, most people generally do not express them in the written form. Generally, we are able to listen for the emotion in their voice; to look beyond words and search for the true emotions. To confirm our assessment, we may apply that specific emotion to a phrase such as, “You sound angry”, or “You seem frustrated”, or “I hear sadness”.
Have you ever received a written message, perhaps an email or letter, that you had difficulty deciphering exactly what the sender intended by simply reading the text? When you later spoke with the sender, you learned that the intended message was not at all what you inferred from their words? This same hurdle limits our assessment of the text sender’s emotions and focuses strictly on the content of their message. As stated before, many of these words are abbreviated and may have differing meanings. As the negotiation continues, the negotiator may realize great difficulty in assessing red flags, such as missing, conflicting, or inappropriate emotions.
Paraphrasing
(Demonstrates you are listening. Summarizes what you have been told in your own words.)
Paraphrasing via text messaging may be limited to only one or two word replies followed by a question mark. This can give the negotiator an opportunity to consult with their coach or to pause for a moment while waiting for a reply…hoping that it does come. Paraphrasing generally allows the negotiator to not only reply to the words, but also to the meanings that appears to be hiding behind those words. Additionally, it provides a great deal of intelligence by delving deeper into the crisis at hand without a great deal of stress and thought.
Reflecting/Mirroring
(Repeating the last word, phrase, or thought along with a question mark.)
Reflecting may be one of the best components of the A.L.S. skill set during a text negotiation. The negotiator can reply with the same concepts as with verbal negotiations. If the person in crisis states “I so scared”, the negotiator might reply “scared?” Single word replies allow for the same breaks and consultations as noted above but, remember that the person in crisis is most likely very adept at quick replies. Always be prepared to reply something back to keep them talking.
Effective Pauses
(Silence before or after an important point or a tactic used to encourage the person in crisis to say something to break the silence.)
For the negotiator who is not adept at texting, many of the replies and communications may be delayed. The effect can cause the person in crisis to think you are not replying or worse, do not care enough to respond when they do open up to you. There is again limited use of this component in negotiating via text messages.
Minimal Encouragers
(Sounds made, especially on the phone, to let the other person know that you are listening.)
At best, single text replies such as “really” and “Uh” might provide the desired impact to keep them talking. While it cannot be applied as in voice communications by interjecting the minimal encourager into the exchange, a quick reply of “oh” or “uh” can buy more time and encourage continued communication. The use of an exclamation or question mark after these responses can assist in conveying the message you wish to send.
I/We Messages
(Lets the subject know how they are making us feel. Build toward rapport by changing mindsets from you and me toward “we and us”.)
I/we messages tend to be long in delivery which will not bode well during text messaging. Until we have established a significant rapport and then move to inclusive text messages, the use of “we and us”, may go unnoticed as the person in crisis is fixated on the trigger of the present crisis. While this component is limited, do not forget to move toward it as you do gain trust and build rapport.
Open-ended Questions
(Questions that cannot be answered with a simple yes, or no. Who, what, when, where, how, but not why.)
Open ended questions again require longer responses which may result in language confusion and tedium on behalf of both parties to the negotiation. More emphasis on short text responses may be more appropriate for this negotiation.
Remember, if you are faced with this stressful situation you must be flexible in your approach to dealing with the person in crisis. Try not to let the technology overwhelm you and remember to be open to learning a new language as you are trying to use your Active Listening Skills the best you can. Overall, it is imperative that we work to encourage the person in crisis to trust us enough to use the phone for what it was originally designed to do, allow us to talk directly to them. As Tigger said many years ago, TTFN (Ta Ta for now).